Morning After
by mintcrisp
Summary: Because Beck gets everyone, in due time. Beck/Tori, Beck/others


Title: Morning After  
Rating: T (Kinda iffy on the rating – tell me if it needs to be higher)  
Warnings: Implied Adult Situations, Language, Promiscuity, Slash  
Pairing: Beck/Tori ...in a kinda-not-really way, Beck/other(s)  
Summary: Because Beck gets everyone, in due time.

Notes: I wrote this because it's short (so it only took about two hours or so), it wrote itself, I find the concept amusing, and I really need something I can post. It's half qualifies as crack!fic, really. Also, I had a major failtastic summary when I posted this, so I changed it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

* * *

Tori groaned, rolling in the bed and pulling a pillow over her face to block the sun peaking in through the window. She had graduated from Hollywood Arts three years ago, but most of her friends had stayed in the city and gotten apartments nearby. Including Beck and Jade, who had thrown one hell of a party to celebrate the end of their third year of college (or that they found a new apartment, or because Beck had landed a role that might make him famous, or because Jade's mother left town, or because the sun had risen that morning – she couldn't remember) where the alcohol had flowed like a glorious waterfall of mistakes.

And regret and bad decisions – which, coincidentally, were the words she would use to describe the taste in her mouth.

Sighing, she pulled the pillow off her head and prepared herself for the painful, hung-over walk from her bedroom to the kitchen, where the aspirin resided.

Finally, she opened her eyes, only to realize her wall wasn't light blue. Nor were her sheets white, or her comforter green; but that was what she saw before her, meaning that she _wasn't in her bed_. So where the hell was she? Then, she quickly became aware of four things.

Firstly, she was naked and she could see her panties lying in front of a closet on the other side of the room. Second, she recognized the clothes in that closet. Third, her death would be soon, and it would be messy. And lastly, she was never drinking tequila. Ever. Again.

She was alone in the room, so she didn't concern herself with modesty as she tumbled out of the bed and crawled to where she saw her underwear. Her bra was hanging off a bookshelf, her pants were on the floor between the bed and the door and after a few minutes of searching, she found that her shirt had somehow been caught on the ceiling fan (...the fuck?), and she had to stand on the bed to get it down.

After having successfully tracked down her clothing, she moved on to her next concern. Mainly, that Jade was going to murder her. Horribly. With a chainsaw. Or maybe Jade would keep her alive for several weeks just to torture her until she begged for death. Which was exactly what she deserved. She slumped on the bed and held her aching head in her hands as fuzzy memories arose; memories of stumbling into the room, drunkenly making-out with Beck, who was shoving his hand up her shirt, while Jade – his _girlfriend_ and her best frienemy – slept in the next room.

Honestly, someone needed to come up with a cure for Chronic Backstabbing Syndrome, or rather Chronic Boyfriend-Kissing Syndrome, so she could buy as much of it as she could find.

But, if Tori had any luck at all, Jade would still be sleeping off the alcohol, and wouldn't even notice her escaping the apartment. Then... well, Jade would still have to know, but she'd have time to come up with a plan. Talk to Beck and possibly convince him to tell Jade (since he was just as guilty, and she _was _his girlfriend). With that thought in mind, Tori slowly opened the door and tiptoed down the hall, being very careful not to make a sound.

Only to find Jade sitting at the table in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.

"Shit." Tori muttered, pressing a hand to her forehead in an effort to fight off her headache and nausea.

"Aspirin's in the cabinet in the bathroom." Jade said.

"I slept with Beck." Tori said quietly, knowing that there was no point delaying the inevitable. Plus, stumbling out of Beck's room at eight in the morning, disheveled and wearing the same clothes she had arrived at the apartment in nearly twelve hours ago made it kind of obvious. Flinching, she prepared for Jade to go on a rampage – one that would only end once Tori's blood and innards were decorating the walls.

"Everyone does at some point." Jade sighed nonchalantly. Tori's eyes flew open in surprise and she stood stock still while she watched Jade calmly take a bite of her cereal. … Maybe she was dreaming.

"What?" Tori asked. "You aren't going to kill me?"

"Beck and I broke up two and a half years ago. The only reason we still live together is because I can't live with anyone but him without wanting to kill them, and he claims that moving out would be too much of a hassle. You saw we slept in separate bedrooms, but you still didn't figure that out? And everyone sleeps with Beck."

"I thought it was a front for your parents. I mean, they pay for this place, don't they?" Jade nodded and Tori pulled out a chair so she could sit next to her at the table. "By the way, what do you mean by everyone? Like... Cat?"

"Two years ago."

"Trina?"

Jade frowned in disgust. "God, no. Actually, your sister is the only person I have ever seen him express active interest in _not_ screwing."

"The only person?" Tori questioned, leaning closer to Jade. "So, like, would he be interested in, say... I don't know, Robbie?"

"Six months ago."

"_What_?" Tori screamed. "Beck's bisexual?"

"Pansexual, actually." She explained further when she realized Tori was confused. "It means Beck screws **everyone**. And it's not that he's attracted to both men and women – he doesn't care about gender at all."

"So, then... I don't suppose he and Andre have..."

"Year and a half ago."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"...Is it weird that I find that's kind of hot?"

"I don't think so. I find the idea of Beck and Robbie together hot. For Cat, it's me and Beck."

"You know, I could have sworn Andre was like a zero on the Kinsey scale."

"Doesn't matter." Jade said, waving her hand dismissively. "Everyone is Beck-sexual. By the way, I don't think you would, but don't assume that this means you and Beck are dating or something. Despite how many people he's slept with, I'm still the only person he's 'officially' dated since middle school."

"I find it a little weird that you're so calm about this. I mean, you were so jealous and possessive of him in high school."

"The reason I was so jealous and possessive was because Beck's version of saying hello begins with _him taking off his pants_."

"Where is he?"

"Class."

"Oh. The way this conversation's been going, I thought he'd be doing something more..."

"Or banging his TA. Again."

"...inappropriate."

"Did I mention his TA is pregnant? With someone else's kid, thankfully."

"That boy has no shame."

"I know, and I love it. Though I swear Beck has to be sterile, because if condoms are ninety-seven percent effective, statistically that means he should have knocked up, like, at least a dozen and a half chicks by now. I think sales of Plan B in local drug stores skyrocketed the day we broke up."

"Okay. Well, this has been fascinating, and very, very weird, but I have to go now."

"If you hang around for an hour or so, Beck will be back, and maybe you could enjoy a round two."

"I think I'm good, thanks." Tori shouted over her shoulder before pulling the door shut behind her.

Jade chuckled, taking another bite of her cereal. "Well, that'll knock that bitch's ego down a few pegs. Serves him right for using the last of the conditioner."

* * *

VOC: ...What _is_ this?

Mint: ...Honestly, I'm not sure. I felt like writing and considering how much I've been inspired lately (as in, not at all), I took what I could get and ran with it. Is it realistic? No. Is it funny? I think so. (but my sense of humor is... weird) Basically, I see three ways Beck's future relationships could go: 1) he stays with Jade forever, or they break up and 2) he legitimately moves on with/latches on to someone else and has an at least semi-normal relationship, or 3) he becomes extremely promiscuous (which may or may not be his natural state of being). Stating which option this explores would be painfully redundant. Cannon-wise, I'm rooting for option 1, but that doesn't mean the other two don't intrigue me. Also, I think Beck and Jade could potentially stay friends after they break up. I'm interested in exploring almost any kind of relationship between Beck and Jade, whether it's romantic, or they're friends, or even a brother-sister dynamic. And, yeah, I played Beck's promiscuity for laughs, and there haven't really been any consequences for him. See: "Realistic? No." Blah. Review please.

P.S.: Now every time I type a word beginning with "be", OpenOffice tries to auto-complete it to "Beck-sexual." Which makes me smile.


End file.
